Creating our own lives

I have read about it, written about it, talked about,.. The law of attraction, creating your own life. I have believed it. I have seen it, felt it, but never felt like I have consciously used it. I have seen all the negative things I have attracted, summoned, drawn into my own life. I had let the negativity rule in my life for so long, I didn't know how to end that circle. So I started by letting go of the past. The bitterness. The hatred. The hurt and the pain. That was step one! And then I started working on living in the now! That was step two, realizing there is no tomorrow. Just like there is no yesterday. There is always just here and now. No, you know what,.. my first step was realizing there is no one out there who can save me, make me happy, make my life right, make me feel good about myself, but ME! Only I can do those things. Yes, someone did help me realize this, so she helped me, saved me, in a way. She opened the door, she opened my eyes, she pointed out the truths about me and my life. But the rest of the work I had to do myself. Only I can allow myself to let go. Nothing anyone else says can do that for me. There is no magical words or tricks out there that can save you, you hold that key yourself. Always. You just have to be reminded. And then there was the continueing of letting go, of every negative thing I encountered every day, and hold on and focus on the positive things. That was another step. The next after that was trusting the meaning with everything that has ever happened, everything that is happening. Trust the universe. Let go of the control. Stop being a victim, and start seing the lessons. I started to get to know myself. For a period I even fell in love with myself, what I am, and life itself. Being grateful for everything that makes me ME. And every good thing in my life. And every lesson from my past. One of the hardest things I had to work on was this, being grateful. Remember to be thankful, for everything. Show appreciation. It was hard for me to feel that, honestly and believe it. I had forgotten how to. I wanted to, but changing my attitude from always expecting the worst and being dissapointed to being grateful for, well, everything was really hard. But I worked on it! Every day! Reminding myself, forcing myself, faking it... And I started believing it, I felt it, I wanted to show gratitude, I say thank you every day and mean it! And I am working on opening up, my heart, my light, just me. I opened up to light and love and the universe, and even the Earth. Last one was difficult. Because I never came down, I always wanted to go back. I didn't like Earth. Sometimes I still don't, but I appreciate my time, the experiences and my lessons here, and I am grateful for all of it. Okay, so I am still working on opening up. The love towards the Earth and life and beauty is getting easier. The light, I still work on letting both in and out. It is there, I just have trouble with seing it in myself, that I have a bright and pure source inside myself. Though I have felt it, and even felt it radiate towards the world. They say that seing your own light is more difficult than seing your own darkness, that it even frighten us. I feel that. Well, I don't fear the light, just the thought it might not be there, or not as bright and strong, I guess. But I'm working on it ;-) Opening up to people, well,.. I have still quite some way to go on that one... ;-P But again, work in progress ;-) And I am definetly more open to guidance and intuition if you like! I am open, listening to my heart and to my helpers. And boy, do I get a lot of messages these days ;-) I am working on opening even more, to listen more intently. This is important though; I am working on it. Not trying to work on it, but working on it! There's a huge difference! Just the intention, the responsibility, the meaning of it; working on it versus trying... Doing versus trying... Do you understand the difference?! Because it is an important one! I never use the word try or trying when I talk about real stuff anymore. I can try a new sweater, a new taste, new shoes or what ever. But when there is something I want to, or need to change, I don't just try, I do! I work on it, and I do it... It is all about taking responsibility for my own life, everything in it. I am always responsible for how I react and feel about any given situation. I choose how to relate to different situations, how to respond, how to interact, how to feel, how to act. It is all on me. I can't control people or situations, but I can control my reaction and my respons, even my emotions. I always have a choice. And in that lays responsibility. My responsibility. I am responsible for my own happiness, my own inner life and outer. If I am unhappy with a situation I can eighter choose to leave the situation, to change my attitude towards the situation or just accept it. I am responsible for making the best out of every situation, for me. See the challenges, the lessons, the benefits, the good. Again, working on that every day..

I guess my point is, I am working on being better every day. Better than I was yesterday. I am working on myself, all these things above. And even if it started as something forced or even fake at first (some of it), trying to convince myself of something I didn't really believe or think I could do, it is working. I am believing! I am doing! I am living it! I still have to keep working on all of it, every day, maybe for the rest of my life, but it doesn't all feel like work anymore. It becomes a part of me, who I am and what I do, how I feel and react towards life. And then something magical starts to happen! I am not just changing my thoughts and beliefs, I am changing my whole life. I am creating my own life!!! I am creating my own reality! And it even causes ripples, changing life around me too, in a positive way. And everything starts falling into place! Everything starts to make sense! I no long see coinsidences, not in my past, not in my precense. It all makes perfect sense! I get it! The lessons, the failures (there are no such thing as failure btw... it is just doing something that didn't work out, so you do it different. It wasn't meant to be, or something better is coming instead), the push in the right direction, the relationships that didn't work out, the "bad" timing that turnes out to be the perfect timing... It all happened and is happening for a reason. It all has it's purpose! 

When I really started to trust the universe, my heart and soul, and the guidence from guardian angels, angels and fairies and what not ;-) Let's call it all intuition, just to make it simpler ;-) When I started to listed to and act from my intuition, it steared me in the right direction. My life had come to an hault, it was all a bit knot. And then I made some difficult choices, made some big changes. Leaped into it without knowing the outcome, just knowing it would be difficult and hard work. I trusted it. The nudges. The emotions. The pushes. And then the knot started to losen. It all worked itself out best way possible. It was not what I expected. It was better. 

And all those dreams and hopes I'd had for my close future, it came true! In the most unbelievable ways! Beyond any coinsidence or just luck! It was perfectly timed. It is pure. It is freely given. It came when I was ready. And it all happened within 6 months, from when I stepped up, took responsibility for myself and my own life. I made some drastic changes, not knowing where it would lead me. And it lead me here. I have these big things happening in my life, along side the small things, that I have been wishing for. Secretly dreaming about and now receiving. And people around me is starting to ask me how I do that, create my own life, my own "luck". And I guess this is how. The work I am doing on myself. Taking responsibility for changing myself, being better, feeling better, doing better, working hard on myself. And it is all about; just for today! ;-) Here are my "just for todays";

Just for today...

...be happy!

...be patient!

...be kind!

...be open!

...be carefree!

...enjoy life!

...be thankful!

...work hard on myself!

I work on these everyday! It is one of the first things I see when I wake up, and before going to sleep (I have it written in the ceiling above my bed ;-) ).

I remind myself every chance I can. 

The most important thing you can do in this life, is working on yourself and your own life. Take responsibility and change for the better! Live life, not just exist. Prioritize your own happiness, but make it pure! I am not talking about a temporary fix, like buying some thing that makes you happy for some hours or days, but long lasting happiness. The one that starts from within! Like love and appreciation, gratitude and experiencing life and all it's beauty, the kind you cannot buy! That is true happiness! Find out for yourself what true happiness is for you! Where your freedom lies. And work on it!!! It might seem hopeless or impossible, and it might take some time, but I can guarantee that it will be worth it, it works!!! Start creating your own reality! Your own life! What you put energy into is what you allow into your life, wether it is the positive things or the negative things, the wants or the don't wants, the loves or the hates, the happiness or the sadness, the joys or the regrets.... and so on and so on.. So make sure you put all your energy into the good things, and be grateful! Let go of ALL the bad things... all of it, past and present! And even if it feels impossible, as long as you work hard on it, with the good intentions and love to back it up, good things will start happening in your life. Sometimes it is desguised as painful endings and loss, but it is just making way for the better things, the new beginnings! Trust it! Don't fight it! Just let it happen! The universe doesn't do coinsidences ;-) And trust me, when you get there, you will know. And you will understand, everything... 

This does not mean that there is not gonna be more challenges and lessons and pain in my life, in yours. Of course it's going to be more, of everything, but it will always teach you something valuable! It will force you to feel, to wake up, to make new changes, to learn, to live. You are not on this planet, you are not given this life, just to be comfortable or happy all the time, or to be perfect or even create a perfect life. You are here to experience ALL of it! The good and the bad. It all has the same value! And once you realize this, and the fact that this life is temporary and precious and so very small compared to the greatness and infinty of life and love, then you'll stop fighting it and life will feel easier. You start putting love into every piece of your life, and it all makes sense,.. even the bad. You get through the bad, knowing that it is all just temporary. After the bad, comes the good. And there is so much good! So much beauty! Alongside the pain and the suffering... It all just is! Everything just IS! It all serves a purpose. Let it just BE! And let it make you feel alive! 

And of course, it is not for us to change other people. That is up to them, but... There is a but... Some might ask for your guidance, then give it, but be aware of this, that your truths, what workes for you, might not be their truth or what works for them. And it is never for us to make sense of everyone- or anyone elses lives, or fates. Also, know that changing youself, becoming more pure and true to who you really are, becoming better, it creates ripples. It raises your vibration, and this affects the rest of the world, in a good way. So if you want to change the world for the better, don't try to change other people,.. change yourself and the rest will follow. Know that it requires work, good intentions and time. Put love into every situation in your life, and it will come back into every aspect of your life! Love can only create more love! For you, and for the world.

The answers to your truth, and what works for you, lies inside YOU! You can reach into that when ever you want. It just requires you to quiet down, calm down, become still and listen. Open up. Listen to your heart and your soul. Through meditation or just silent focus. Trust your instincts, for it will lead you the right way, to the right decisions. If you have a hard time doing this, ask for help or guidance. Someone to help you start, who shows you how, who guides you. Door openers. It can be meditation, Yoga, Reiki or any other form of alternative treatment for energy work, or someone reading you, one way or another, and I am sure there are other ways too =) Trust your gut feeling and seek out what fits you.

Even if it might sound like a contradiction the 'creating your own life' and 'everything happening as intended from the universal point of view',.. I do think that we can and do influence in which manner our lessons and experiences come. We create our reality, but the lessons we are suppose to learn will come to us in one way or another, and even repeat itself untill we have learned it. I think we choose to some extent in what manner those lessons come. We choose to suffer more than we have to, or we choose to learn through love and happiness, rather than hatred and suffering. Pain is inevitable,.. suffering is optional. Love is always appliable. Hatred is always a choice. We are all given free will, which means we create our own lives. Experiences and lessons will come in any desguise. We can influence in what desguises those are, and how fast we choose to learn and move forward. How many times we get those same lessons. We do create our own lives, every single second... What kind of life do you choose?

PS. Feel free to comment or ask questions here or by mailing me on this address:

lene_velsand@yahoo.no

Love and Light

Lene Whimsical

Reiki 2

Yes!!!

I have finished the second Reiki course and learned some new and amazing things. I can now practice my Reiki on others outside the family, and I can now do distance healing! Which works!!! I've allready got some good, even great, responses. Which is very good for my confidence ;-)

I am actually very relieved and enormously happy that I got to participate and finish the second Reiki course. And of course I am tremendously grateful to the people that made that possible, first my sis, mom and dad for getting me in touch with Brit, my dad and husband for supporting me and helping me both practically and fincially, and foremost Brit for healing me, including me, accepting me and teaching me!!! I am so so very thankful for that!!! And last but not least the universe who conspired to make it happen for me ;-) It was time!!! <3 And maybe even myself for seizing the opportunity and for absorbing to the full degree!!! <3

It was very interesting. I learned three of the symbols of Reiki. I learned some more ways to apply it in everyday life. I learned more about affirmations and using Reiki for enpowering them. I learned more about the history of Reiki. I learned more about caution and ethics regarding the use of Reiki. And I learned to boost my Reiki and everything else in my life, with the use of Reiki. So much fun! So interesting! And the best part was, that with this second course, the light and love in my chest finally reopened, after being "quiet" or unoticed for some months! And I love it! As if it re-lit the fire in my chest! It calmed me down, alot, gave me peace and confidence again. It centered me, and grounded me! It is all very much tangible for me. I love it!  It is really good for me =) And I am so happy about being able to help more people now, even from a distance. And I have ;-)

I have sent on a couple of people allready. And one of the feedbacks was very uplifting. The difference before and after treatment was very noticable, from being exhausted and tired and almost drained of energy,.. to being very awake and energetic and happy. And after some heavy workload, pains that otherwise would be certain to kick in - never came! The person sounded very happy, energetic and thankful! When I talked to this person before sending Reiki, this person sounded slow, tired and down. The change was audible! =) I am so happy I could help this person, even from a far!!! I am very grateful for that!!! And I wish I could dedicate my life to helping people like that, and like Brit helped me (but that was nothing short of a miracle so I am not sure I'll ever be able to do that)! But helping people regain some balance in their lives, physically and mentally, would be an honor and a privilege!!! Just the thought makes me feel humble!!! What a gift that would be!!! =D Or I guess I should rather say; What a gift that is!!! ;-)

For now, I am happy and content with having the second course, practicing Reiki 2. I haven't even asked my Reiki master about it, but I must admit that i do dream of one day perhaps being allowed to be trained and coursed to be a Reiki master myself. To be able to teach others, like I have been. To teach people how to heal themselves and their loved ones! To heal all creatures!!! I know I would be a great teacher =) But I do not have the opportunity to do that now anyways, financially, so I am more than content with being able to practice as I do now!!! Yet a girl can dream, right?! ;-)

For those who haven't tried Reiki yet, I can strongly recomend it. I am sure you can find a practitioner close to your area! And for those who know me, you are welcome to ask for a free test-run ;-) And if anyone out there wants or needs my help, please, feel free to send request or questions to my email: lene_velsand@yahoo.no 

With Love & Light

Lene Whimsical

Music 

I feel like writing a little piece about music. Because music is such a big and important part of my life, and I think in everyones lives. I cannot live, or even imagine a life, without music. I think it is nourishment to the soul, for me and everybody else. Even those who don't really consider it much. What a sad place the world would be without music! And if there is one thing that really connects people, of all races, ages and beliefs, it must be music.

Music touches something in our soul, in my soul, and fills us with energy and love and unity. I think everyone should priorities listening to music, every day, even for just a few minutes a day. It is a universal language!

You know that moment when you hear a song and every word describes your situation perfectly?! I instantly fall in love with that song ;) Music is a crusial part of my life, it is a reflection of what I go through, no matter what that may be. And I have many a time thought that I'd wish a certain person would listen to a particular song I play, because lyrics speak the words I fail to say, or wish I'd dare to utter. Music is what feelings sound like, and it speaks what cannot be said, but is impossible to keep silent. Music exists to speak the words we can't express! And it sure can inspire us! I have a special playlist that I sometimes listen to to get ideas, images, emotions and inspiration for my creative writing. It is my muse!

There are so many genres. I like most of them, but must admit that I don't understand or even like a few of them. But I still have respect for them, and their listeners. You don't even have to understand the music, it's more important to feel it! If you don't feel it it is not for you and you preference. Music is an individual preference and a personal form of expression and therefore it is indisputable what is good music, because any music that speaks to someone is good music, no matter how many who is listening and feeling it! My taste in music is no more right or better than any others' taste in music, and that applies to everyone. 

What might capture me in a song, a music piece of any sort, could be the lyrics, the melody or a bridge, the beat or the composition of a song. The way the beat and the melody varies and shifts, follows each other perfectly. Or they come together in an exciting way. Music can really touch me, move me, and make the hairs in the back of my neck stand up, the butterflies flutter in my stomach and pure joy flow from my heart. It gives me a similar feeling as being in love actually. How can I not love that feeling... ;)

I am a musical being, perhaps we all fall under that description, but I have a somewhat special connection to music, and it to me. I used to play the piano, way back when,.. when I made time for it... And I played it by ear, even though I can read musical notes, I'd rather listen to a song and then play it on the piano by ear. I have a good sence of rythm and have always been fascinated by drums. When I played in the school band, I always dreamed of standing in the back with the drummers, rather than playing the clarinet, which was the natural choice seeing as my sister played the clarinet too and seeing as I am a girl... If I could have gone back in time, that might be one of the things I would want to change. I'm regretting to have let that opportunity pass me by. I don't have the voice though, never had. I've been told this since second grade in school. But I love singing by myself, and with or to my children, because they don't really care about my voice. I am not tone deaf, but I guess I sound like a parrot or a crow or something ;) Yet I sing, and lately I have even, god bless him, sung in front of my husband. Just sung like I was all alone in the whole wide world. I figured that if it sounded too horrible he'd run and hide in his workshop or in the office maybe,.. or might even plug in his hearing protection ;) Eighter way, he'll survive. He might be traumatized, but he'll live ;)

I have a friend with a quite different taste in music than me, though we share a couple of favorites too. But I have found that it does not bother me at all, that we are not completely similar in that aspect. I've been told that he might be worried that his taste in music has driven or may drive people away. But I think that a true musicians and music lover understands and respects the diversity in the world of music and that we don't see it as a problem that we don't always like the same things. I think we rather respect eachother more for having a personal taste and preference AND be tough enough to stand for it and show it. Not everyone feels free to do so, but thankfully my friend does. And I respect him even more for it, and the fact that he does not care what everyone else may feel or think about it. I believe that, if you have a particular genre you like, a particular taste, if people really care about you, knows you and understands you, that won't matter. It would not be a trait or a side of his or her personality that you love him or her despite of, but because of! I rejoice everytime I meet a true individual, a unique person, confident and sure of them selves and their believes and taste. It tells me that they are not afraid to stand out, or be them selves. That they do not have the need, or the fear that might force them, to follow any norms or memes, but make their own norms and memes, and live their own chosen lifestyle! All credit to them! They are my kind of weird. And remember, weird is a side effect of being awesome! ;)

Love & Light

Lene Whimsical

Being an HSP

How being an hsp affects me and my life 

Every HSP, Highly Sensitive Person, is uniqe, just like anyone else. No HS person is exactly the same. This is how my own HS traits affects my everyday life. 

I might seem shy to you, if you met me, or just saw me in public. You might consider me as lazy and boring, as I enjoy solitude and quiet time, relaxing on the couch or just hanging out at home. In your everyday life and according to your priorities I might just be the lazy type. I might just enjoy and value other aspects in life. Rest, quiet, solitude, creativity, music, focus, recuperating, contemplating, philosophizing, wonder and entertainment. I might just need those things more than you. To regather myself, to recenter myself, to take care of myself, my sensitivity. I won't ever apologize for it. I won't change for anyone. I am, have always been and will always be true to myself, my feelings and my needs. I'm not saying that you don't share some of all of these priorities, I just know that not eveybody does. And some may not understand or appreciate it, or didn't once, till they discovered the truth of me. =)

Before I realized the HSP trait in me, got a name and a reason for it, I felt lost and that maybe there was something wrong with me. I felt like I'd lost controll of my life. The more "help" I got, from psychiatrists that didn't know better, I got worse. They call it OCD, obsessive-compulsive-disorder. They may be right, but the funny thing is,.. Once I found myself, my truth and my beliefs, they stopped. The need for controll over the things around me, it just stopped! Like turning off a switch. And I wasn't even trying for that, it just happenend. No psyciatric treatment, no drugs and I'm as calm and strong and confient as I've never been before. Not for many many years at least. I think we might have to turn back, say 25 years, and I'm thirty... ;-) I can't explain it, it just is. I still have bad days, like everyone else. Days that just didn't work out as I had planned, or where I've been tired and cranky, just like other people have. I am still human, I still have all of my humanity. ;-) I still have the full range of emotions, but some days, and there are more of these days than ever, I manage to focus on the good things, the good emotions. =)

As little I were a somewhat different hsp than I am today, although some of the traits are the same. I was open and trusting, happy and outgoing. I was affectionate and unhesitant. I was curios, and fearlessly exploring the world around me. I wanted to find out how everything worked together. I saw a lot that others didn't. I had a light and a personality that drew people to me and that almost enchanted them. I miss that ;) Pain was a big deal for me as little. I was very sensitive to pain, and I cried very easily. As an adult I've blocked that out to some extent. I have a high pain treshold now, but papercuts or any kind of injury to my hands and especially my fingers, can distract me quite a bit. I hate that. Tattoos have never been a problem (I've only got a few, but I always dream of and want more!). The dentist on the other hand... I hate that the most (not necessarily an hsp trait, but I still hate it, just as much). When it comes to tears and crying,.. I was easily brought to tears as little. I "shut that down" in my adolessence, after being bullied for a period of time, and being severely betrayed, let down and deeply hurt by people I loved and cared for. I shut down for many years. It became a part of my trait. Of course I could still cry, if I was really frustrated or depressed, but not easily brought to tears, at all. Until now. Now I find myself tearing up over the smallest things, beautiful or sad sights and events, funny things, happy or sad emotions, empathy and sympathy. The other day I felt like crying, so bad, because I picked up on somebody in the crowd looking sad and tearful. And I don't really know this person. I had to really get a grip on myself not to start crying in front of everybody. It was at a big event and would not have been appropriate at all! It was not even my sadness to cry over, it was his. It would not have been right to draw any kind of attention to me at that moment. Trust me. That's another thing. I seem to pick up on sad people in crowds, no matter where we are or who's there. If it is people I know, or not know at all. It might "steal" my attention from everything else. I get upset, sad and restless. And I get the urge to walk over and hug them, though I rarely do. I don't think that everyone would appreciate it, and also, I am quite "shy". If I am considering doing it, it takes me a lot of time to consider wether or not I should, or could, or if I even dare. I might think and feel that in many occasions. I used to be very open and affectionate towards people. I'm not anymore. I've become reserved and hesitant. I might want to, but not be able to. I am hesitat to let anyone close, both physical and emotional. The changes that happened with me, all happened at the same period in my life. And again, you don't have to be hsp to be affected like that, changing and becoming reserved and "shy" after being hurt real bad. Though being an hsp might get you more easily hurt, taken the fact than we might be more of an easy target for bullying, abuse and more easily been taken advantage of. We fall in love more often perhaps, and definitly we fall harder, seing as we feel deeper, being highly sensitive. We might care for others more profoundly. We are less careless and free to explore and therefor may seem squeamish, fearful or prudent. Even lazy, boring or judgmental. It is not about that. We just cannot help but look out for, and consider, risks. And then feel the urge to protect those we love from any real harm or consequence we can see that might follow their choice of path. And we have a hard time letting go. Letting go of people we care about. Even if they hurt us, time and time again.

I get easily overwhelmed by crowded places, lot of impressions, sounds and people. I have a hard time being in the same room, the same fasility as several others for a long period of time, especially at places that are unfamiliar to me. Parties at other peoples houses, with people I don't know, or hardly know, might wear me out. I get anxious and restless, even grumpy, irritable or agressive. All the impressions, new faces, new voices, new smells and all the different emotions and energies from the others makes my senses working intensly and unstopable. My senses takes in every little detail of the setting, the moods and personaleties. At big events, I tend to be standing on the "side line", observing and considering the situation, the moods and where I might find my place. I might seem shy, introvert or even look superior (I've been told). Perhaps a bit shy, or rather hesitant. But not at all introvert, and definitly not superior! But I have the understanding of why people might think so and that some actually do. I know differently, that's all that matters to me.  

When I get overwhelmed, I get restless, and I might search out places to be alone and quiet for a while, if I have the opportunity. Or I might call the night short, head back home after a couple of hours. I might endure it longer if I know I have the opportunity to get away. If I know I can withdraw whenever I want. And when I do get home, I'll need some space and time. I don't always have that choice, being a mother. But after the kids are put to bed, or perhaps I withdraw to cutting the grass or something whilest my husband looks after the kids, I tune it all out with music, tv, writing or meditation. I would find my escape in the tv and tv-shows, anything would suffice, but now I've realized that tv is a bad alternative to quiet the mind. Yes, it would take my mind of the millions of thoughts spinning around in there, and I would relax for a moment, but as soon as I turned the tv off, all those thoughts and impressions would still be there, AND there would be several more from watching tv, as well. Bad idea. Music does quiet my thoughts a bit. I think I transfer my thoughts, feelings, moods and experiences into the music I listen to, like I am using music to help me process all the impressions and emotions. It seems to work, but it doesn't relax me much though. I still feel the emotions, ponder and analyze. I might even be wired up, even if it is a happy and energizing thing, it does not make me relaxed. I find that I rarely get to the point where I am done listening to music, that place where I want to turn the music off, feeling content and finished. I almost always want more time with my music, I want more music. I really love music. I have an entire world of my own when I'm with my music. It speaks to me, lifts me, collects me, speaks for me. I cannot imagine a life without music! Writing, I get all, or at least some, of my thoughts, impressions and emotions down on paper. Or rather down on screen... I can express it, share it or just save it for myself. I can leave some of it in my writings. I can get it out. I really enjoy writing! Always have. It calms me. I can write down all the things that are difficult to say out loud. I can write down all the things that are difficult to think about. I can silence the chaos of words and sentences sounding on repeat and in scramble in my head. It makes them stop swurling around and tormenting me. After writing it down, I feel quiet. I feel empty. I feel done. Not peaceful. Not serene. Just done. And then calm. It is a good feeling, but it can leave me kind of sad too, even depressed. Like I've gotten a void inside. So I'll need to fill it up with something nice. Familytime, smiles, hugs, kisses, music, reiki, serenity. Meditation works like nothing else, but I rarely have the quiet and the time alone to practice it. But when I do it quiets the mind completely, it fills me with visions instead. It helps me find my center. The calm and relaxed me that knows what matters and what doesn't. And most of the time, the worries and thoughts I've been having, doesn't count for much in the big picure and I can let them go. I can forgive if there is some things or ones who I need to forgive to let go. I have a silent conversation with myself, the higher energies and the universe. It is the most wonderful solitaire moments in life! Clearifying, purefying and relaxing. I come out of it feeling totally relaxed and content, confident and happy. It has helped me to forgive and forget. 

 The most predominant hsp trait I live with these days, is the sensitivity and openess to the spiritual aspect of life.  Being an HSP, it should come as no surprise that I have turned to a spiritual alternative. It is quite common for hsps. I am sensitive to the energies surrounding us, being influenced by the energies and emotions of others. Being aware of subtleties, and the "hidden" truths in the world and all around me. This is what preoccupie my thoughts and interests, and has been for the last 6 months. Reiki, energies, spirits, enlightenment, awakening, truths of the world, intuition, emotions, inner voice, third eye... And as a "full-blodded" hsp, once I get interested in something, experiencing something new and is processing it, it will be the number one topic with me. I want to talk about it, share it and immerse myself in it. That is how I process it, and it takes time for an hsp to process big topics with a lot of new ideas and information. For those around me, bear with me, I will "get over it" eventually, as I get used to and settle into all these new aspects of my life. That is, I will eventually be able to keep the enthusiasm to myself, to a much greater extent... ;-) I don't think I'll give up on this aspect of my life, ever, being as it is a huge part of who I am! And I love that it is! I am indescribably grateful for it! It nourishes my soul in a way that nothing else can. It boosts the light and love inside me. It strenghtens me. It clears my head. I value my sensitivity! I feel fortunate that I have this trait. Elaine Aron said something in her book that I enjoyed, that is that the HSP don't feel pride or superior because of the advantages of our trait. Even if he/she did, it would last for five minutes, tops, and then he or she would feel guilty about it.  ;-) That is SO true! ;-)

I am sure there are a lot more of my HSP that plays into my everyday life, but I think I'll round it up here, for now. ;) I don't want to exhaust you completely. I think that some HSPs might recognise some of what I wrote here, but remember that every HSP is different, just like all people are. Enjoy! =)

Love & Light

Lene Whimsical

Me and electronic gadgets

Yeah,.. me and my electric gadget,.. even light bulbs and such... That's a less appreciated sideeffect of being who and what I am... It has been really frustrating and I have lost my temper because of it more than once...

Cellphones, computers, printers, internett connections, washings machines, tumble driers, cars, light bulbs, any kind of electric gadget you may think of... Some of them really don't like me... They just won't work with me! 

My husbands stationary computer, his/our printer, every phone I've ever owned, my computers (I really hope my iPad won't appose me too). I consume a phone a year, I can't afford to change them more often, and even if I did, I'm not sure it would really matter much. I have them till they die completely, or just don't want to work with me at all anymore. Our cars make new sounds and come up with new electrical errors continuisly. My family have found it strange that so many machines dies and has errors so freakin often at our house. I agree... ;)

Now that I am aware of it, and the how and why, can take precautions, perhaps. My hands start working when I think about it, or I become aware of them starting up as I am getting frustrated, which makes everything even worse. I feel them tingeling and heating up. The more I try to not let it affect me, the more they seem to work. Any thought or energy I give it seems to boost it. So now I have found that I need to take a break when that happens. I don't know if it matters at all, but when I feel my hands working by them selves I get worried about where to direct them... So I feel I need to direct the energy from my hands to myself or others around me. Let myself or them absorb the energy for healing. And I have to stop thinking about any of it. When I am calm and everything feels "normal" again I can return to the computer or whatever I was trying to use.

The more frustrated I get, the less I get done, cause even more gadgets fail and light bulbs dies. I've had the effect of turning lights on as well,.. street lights.. They seem to reflect on my emotions. Eighter if I am very excited or happy, or stressed, frustrated or angry. I have some lamps in certain places that seem to be affected by my emotions every now and then, on a quite regulare basis. They are standing in places where I am often walking by when I  am having negative emotions. Like in the hallway outside our bedroom, where I more often then I'd like to admit have trampled by, feeling irritated because I've been woken up and draged out of bed to insert passifiers or find water or whatever (remember, this is a girl that hates being woken up for any whitch reason,.. Grumpy much?!..). The lightbulb in that hallway dies once a month, at least! Others, in rooms I hardly ever enter, lives for many many months, even though they are used just as much. And it doesn't help to change the lamp eighter. Trust me ;)

I have even used it once, and I felt sooo guilty when it worked. I directed this energy at the machines that was working relentlesly on the land lot next to ours. I was frustrated and angry at the dumping of garbage and burning it, forcing us to run and hide inside the house instead of enjoying our backyard. So I thought about these machines and wanted one of them to fail. This was at the last few minutes of that working day. They called it a day. But the next day, I watched them as they were starting up the machines. They were planning to fire of some explosives that day, they just needed to drill a few more holes. The machine drilling these holes wouldn't start. And the men working it could not seem to find the error. They tried over and over, but it wouldn't start. They were stuck. Then I felt guilty. I cannot say for sure that I caused it, of course I can't, but the strange thing was that

when I felt guilty I wanted to take it back. I wanted it to start again, and that same minute it did. It would be funny if it was me. The man working the machine shook their heads and went on with their work. It would be kinda cool if I could direct that energy like that. Instead of ruining my own stuff ;) I would just have to find somewhere to direct it for a greater good kinda thing. I'll have to explore this some more ;)

Love & Light

Lene Whimsical

If I could dream BIG

If I could dream big 

Being inspired by a friend, this is what I want in life;

I want to study, to learn and experience. I want to teach, inspire and enlighten the world. 

I want to write and publish, I want to help someone find light in the dark.

I want to live a spiritual life, a close to nature life, a simple life.

I want to be fully enlightened, to see all that there is to see, see the pure truth

I want to be able to open up to all people and connections around me

I want to be comfortable showing affection and care towards others, without the fear of being hurt

I want to let go of all fear

I want to be pure love and light

I want to be free of all illutions

I want to be free to be me, and all that I am

I want to be free to live a natural life, uncorrupted by chemicals, lies, restrictions and governments

I want to be accepted and respected for being different

I want to be free to practice my beliefs

I want the world to WAKE UP!

I want the world to be free of blindfuls, deceit and deception.. 

I want mankind to be opened to the truth

I want people to be able to choose for them selves how they want to live their own lives

You see,.. 

I don't fit in here. 

I don't fit in this world.

I don't want the "normal" life

I don't care about the big fancy house, big fancy car, big fancy anything

I don't care about money

I don't care about the "right" education

I don't care about a career

I don't care about status

I don't care about "fitting in"

I don't want to follow the heard

I don't want to waste time doing all the "right" things

I don't want to be their kind of "normal"

But I haven't got much choice. Not yet. But I'll get there, even if "we" might never get there. Even if this evolution fails, I will keep on going my own way. I own my truth! I will honor my own spirit and intuition, as soon as I can. Till then I can dream. And I can want. And I can hope. and I can wait... =)

Love & Light

Lene whimsical

Reiki

My understanding of Reiki

I'd never heard about Reiki until 6 months ago. I've told you about my first meeting with reiki in my Introducing myself - post. So I won't go there again, in this one.  

Like everything, or most of, what I write about in here, I am new to this. And all I have are my newfound experiences and things I have read about of heard about resently. I might not alway remember it right eighter, so feel free to comment if I get something wrong.

Okey, so what is Reiki. Well, as I've understood it, the Reiki that I am opened to and are learning about is called Usui Reiki. It comes from the far east, and has existed for many many years, but was discovered and made more commonly known by a man called Mikao Usui, hence the name Usui Reiki.  The name Reiki means "Universal Life Energy". Ki meaning the life force that is in all beings, and Rei is the universal, unlimited aspect of this energy.

Reiki is a spiritual practice, an alternative medicine. It is a form of healing treatment. The intermediary uses his or her hands to convey the reiki energy to the recipient, holding his or her hands on or just above selected areas on your body. This is called palm healing or hands on healing. The practitioner is transferring universal energy in the form of qi (through the palms) that allows for self-healing and a state of equilibrium (balance). And anybody can learn it at be opened to it, take courses and practice it. When you receive this treatment you can quite easily feel the heat, the warmth radiating from the practitioners hands. I could, and I can feel it radiating from my own as well. For those who knows me, I am happy to show you ;-)

After two treatments at my reiki master, she offered to open me to Reiki the third session. She has also offered me a course 1 of reiki healing, that I am going to attend when the course is ready. But whilst waiting for that course she opened me up to practicing reiki on myself and my closest family. I had in the days before that opening, become aware of the warmth radiating from my hands, but after the opening,.. Sorry, but OMG. The sensation that I get in my hands when I transfer energy, it is unmistakable. It is like a prickly and stinging sensation, burning and freezing at the same time. Like when you have held something real cold in your hands for a while and then warming them back up, when they start regaining warmth real fast, that icy burning sensation. Have you ever taken a snow bath and directly after jumped back in a pool of warm water? Your body kind of feels like there's a thousand needles and pins poking your skin. It feels like that in the centre of my palms. And of course they get really warm and radiates heat, both palms and fingers. I can feel it radiating without holding them towards myself. Sometimes, when I am doing something completely different than reiki, like driving my car, my hands start to work and I can feel the heat radiating from the back of my hands and fingers. It feels really strange. Talking about reiki can trigger my hands to start working, thinking about it, seeing people who are sick or in pain, animals as well. At the beginning, after the opening, they could set of transferring energy all by them selves without me thinking about or seeing anything that would usually set them of. But now I feel they only react to certain situations and thoughts. And so far I've experienced that I can start them whenever I want to, but I am aware of that the Reiki has a "will" of it's own. It is not something that I can fully controll, it just let's me, for now ;)

But Reiki is more than just healing with hands. There's a whole philosophy that comes with it. A good philosophy. A way of thinking and living that brings peace to both yourself and others. I haven't gone to deep into that aspect yet, but I am trying to practice the five principles, "The secret art of happiness, The miraculous medicine for all diseases";

At least for today:

Do not be angry (or BE HAPPY-since you're not surpose to use the don'ts to make something be..)

Do not worry (or BE CAREFREE..)

Be grateful

Work with diligence

Be kind to people

Every morning and every evening, 

join your hands in meditation

and pray with your heart.

State with your mind

and chant with your mouth.

For improvement of mind and body.

The founder;

Mikao Usui

I use these to the best of my abilities, and they work. If I tell myself, or make a promise to myself, to not be angry/be happy just for today. I am living in the present, not worrying about tomorrow. Tomorrow does not concern me today, I might be grumpy as hell tomorrow, but today I am going to be happy. Setting out to be happy a whole week or a whole month feels impossible, but making that promisse for just one day, this day, here and now, that actually works, for me. I chant it in my head. I have the message, these principles, hung up on notes several places in our house to remind me. And they have helped me a lot. I think it is important not to make promisses to yourself for the future, not to far into the future at least. But if you make promisses to yourself for the present, for just today, it is so much easier to uphold! And in that way you don't set yourself up for dissapoinments eighter. And you can make that promisse to yourself each new day, or new ones, and after some time, if you look back, you might just have been able to keep more promisses to yourself than you ever have managed to implement previously. Think about this, even if you don't believe in reiki or the reasons behind or for these principles, could you perhaps benefit from applying them to your own life? I am not urging you to do so, but perhaps I am asking you if it might be something you'd be willing to try, for a day, or two days,.. or three? And see if they have had any effect on your day? It would not be about any alternative or spiritual face, but just a way to lift your day and your mood. Make you more content and happy with your day and yourself. Let me know if you tried it ;-)

I am surpose to practice Reiki on myself every day, if not for more than 10-15 minutes a day if that is all I can fit in, in a hectic life. But I must confess that there are day that simply just forget, because I'm too tired and go to bed, or I am to caught up in some event that steals my attention for the whole day. But I try, no, I am working on it! I find it to be a good time to practice it when I have crept into bed for the night. I give myself reiki for 10-15 minutes and then I fall asleep, often whilst doing reiki. (Sometimes I've fallen asleep after 5 minutes..) But the rest I get that night is often more deep and uninterupted by dreams and small sound than nights when I don't fall asleep with reiki. So there are more than one benifit from doing reiki at night; it's quiet, I am relaxed and in no hurry, and it is soothing and helps me fall asleep. Sometimes I wake up at nights when I've forgotten reiki, I can't get back to sleep, perhaps I've had a nightmare that has made me restless. Then I remember reiki and use the time awake, in the middle of the night, to transfer energy to myself, and after 15-20 minutes I am sound a sleep again. Before reiki I could lay awake for hours at night, especially after a nightmare.

I haven't been using reiki much on my children though. The two little ones don't have the patience for it and if I try transerring reiki to them whilst they are watching tv or is asleep, they get uncomfortable from the warmth from my hands. =/ But the oldest one seems to have more interest in it. I've been allowed to transfer energy to him several times. If he is tired in mid day, or he is worked up at night time, if he has had a headache or tummyache. It seems to sooth him and the energy, which always distributes it self to where it is most needed in the body, wether it is where the pain or fatigue the person feels is, or it is somewhere else in the body that we are not aware of yet. The energy "knows" where it is most needed, and how much there is needed. Anyhow, my oldest once came to me real worked up and restless, so I told him to lay on the couch. I placed my hands lightly on his chest and forhead (there are certain points on the body a practitionser is surpose to use, but I go by my feelings for now). Laying there, constantly moving fingers and feet, real wired up, after a few minutes he became calm, and eventually he fell asleep at the palm of my hands. I must admit that the experience was really sweet to me, and I felt delighted and pleased that I had helped him calm down and fall asleep so peacefully. =) I can not know for sure if my hands transfers universal energy and helps me or anybody else, but I have faith in that it does. 

When I do reiki, I usually hold one hand on the centre of my chest and one on the centre of my upper abdomen, on top of my diaphram. And after some minutes I move my hands to my throat, and next on top of my head. If I haven't fallen asleep yet, I'll move on to other points, but I always feel like starting on my chest and abdomen. I've done this, held my hands there when resting in my bed, since looong before reiki. But when I have put my hands on children I've always felt like putting one hand on their chest and one on their forhead, or on top of their head. I don't know why, and may not be right at all, but I'm trying to trust my feelings, my gut, so I'll keep doing that, at least until the reiki course. Maybe I'll learn something different when I get there. =)

I've put my warm hands on other members of the family and they have all verified that they feel the radiation of heat and that it feels good. And I do trust them to be honest with me, and they are.

I am not allowed to put my warm hands on people on medication. It may eighter boost the effect of the medicines, or it may tell the body to get rid of the "poison" that does not belong in the body, hence uplift the effects of it. But there are no side-effects on getting reiki if one are free from drugs, in any form. So it can not do any harm. One don't have to believe or be open to it, for it to work. If it works it works unconditionally, if it is meant to! 

Sincerely and from Love,

Lene Whimsical

Learning to meditate and visualize

Meditation and visualisation

I've only just started to practise meditation. These are my experiences with, and thoughts on, meditation.

My days are hectic and loud. So when the kids are in bed, all three of them ;), I find myself having the need to calm down, find inner peace and calm. Centre myself and clear my head.

I've thougt that meditation means you need to quiet your mind completely by blocking out all surrounding sounds and notions. Like that's gonna happen for me. I can't block out anything, neighter thoughts nor sounds or impressions. So how was I ever going to master meditation?

Then I came across a site on meditation, a guide, that stated that you shouldn't block anything out to concentrate and meditate. You are to let everything in! All sounds and notions and thoughts. Let them come and go as they want, let them float through. Now that I could try. And so I did. 

I sat down on my couch, lights dimmed, and just for a notion of calm and peace, I had lighted a single candle on the table in front of me. I found a comfortable position and closed my eyes. I had read of a breathing exercise that I wanted to try. Breathing in with my nose down to my belly, a deep breath,.. and holding it for 3 seconds, before releasing it through my mouth. I were surpose to do this 3 or more times until I felt the muscles in my body relaxing, All of me relaxing. I needed 3 deep breaths to feel that. And then, I took everything in. I let everything pass through my senses. Little buzzing-sounds from electric gadgets around the room, a car passing by on the outside, a houndred thoughts shooting through my head. Not stopping at or dwelling on any single thought or noise. After a couple of minutes I noticed that my head had quieted down. Thoughts slowed down and came to a stop. And they never do that! Just that was wonderful. The sounds didn't affect me anymore, I stopped noticing them completely, they did not bother me or interrupt me anymore. (Me, I get very easily interrupted by sensations and sounds...) It all became quiet and calm. 

And then came the visions. Images slowly appearing before my inner eye. One at a time, standing still before my closed eyes for several seconds, sometimes minutes. Then fading. But one image caught my attention, and I can still see it before my inner eye. A vision of a woman, with her back to me, and I saw her from the waist up. Pale naked skin, dark brown and long hair. Head turned to her left. Face halfway conceiled by her hair. Beautiful girl. And snowflakes. Falling slowly from above, far apart from eachother, and fairly big (normally big snowflakes). One snowflake landed on the girls bare shoulder. But it didn't melt. It just rested there. Non of the snowflakes that landed on her fair skin or dark hair melted. And it was such a lovely image. It rendered a sence of peace. I carry it with me every day. And I can revisit it when ever I want to. Still I see the vivid colours and details as clear as day. I love that image <3

When I come out of meditation, and I say come out, because it feels like I just return from some place deep inside myself. Not waking up, but coming back up or out or down or where

ever it is from. And I do not decide to come out, I don't make that decision as I meditate. I'm sure you are surpose to or that it works differently for those you are skilled in the "art" of meditation, but I'm brand new at it so maybe it'll come to me, or maybe I'm just doing it wrong ;) Anyhow,.. when I come back out from meditation I feel 100% calm and refreshed in my head. At peace with myself, with my day and my life. I regain the understanding of what is important and not. I've let go of the worries and stress that I don't need. And if I've been too worked up and frazzled to go to sleep before meditating, I now feel tranquil and ready to get some physical rest. 

                                         

Sometimes when I've had trouble sleeping, I usually get frustrated and stressed because I figure I won't get enough rest, and I think about what a waste of my time it is, just laying there. But now, I've had not had that problem for a long time. If I am too worked up to fall to sleep, I'll seize the opportunity to priorities meditation. But I must go straight to bed after meditation, not "I just have to do the dishes before I crawl into bed". That'll get me worked up again, obviosly. ;-) (or if I'm allready in my bed I might try to meditate, but I usually do my reiki then. And that makes me fall asleep after a little while, perhaps too fast ;-)

 

Once I had a "companion" or "visitor" with me all day and night, and I decided to meditate to calm him, and me, down. What happened then was that he showed me some images and visions of himself, amongst other things, he showed me where I was living, trolling the streets I live on, up and down, up and down... While I saw this, clearly as I see my dreams (and I have seriously vivid dreams!), as clearly as you see images on tv,.. or your computer ;) ... I told my husband what I was seeing, my eyes closed and focused on the images given to me. I cannot do that when I sleep. I was fully aware of both the visions, my own voice and my husband being next to me. That was so strange! If it hadn't been for that, and the way I came back and felt afterwards, I might have disregarded it as dreaming,.. falling asleep and dreaming.. But the way I came back; Slowly and firm. And feeling calm and awake. I don't ever feel like that when I wake up. I don't like waking-ups. I wake up suddenly and still feeling sleepy and tired, heart pumping faster. Waking up is not pleasant for me :-P Never enjoyed that part of sleeping, I can tell you. So I know I weren't sleeping or dreaming, because of those two elements. And then there's my husband who saw and heard it all and he says I weren't sleeping as well. Another possible explanation could have been daydreaming, except that I have never been able to daydream with my eyes closed. If  I try with my eyes closed I can't keep my focus on one single image or thought, because my head is thinking and picturing houndreds of things at the same time. I need something to rest and focus my eyes on. So no, I weren't daydreaming eighter, I can assure you. Not that it matters ;-) My mind is a master to search for, explore and come up with alternate possibilities... I'm working on tuning it out and turning it of... But it's a natural respons. I bet several of you do the same ;-)

        

I believe that meditation is a way to connect with you own soul and spirit, and with the universe, your guardians, helpers and other souls and spirits. If you are in search of answers or connections, you might find it here, inside. I believe that every single person and being has an on-going conversation with the universe from within themselves. Not many are aware of it or understands what it is. Conversations in your head, pictures popping up out of nowhere, notions that doesn't feel like your own, a gut-feeling,.. your intuition trying to guide you to do the right thing or refrain from doing the wrong.  

I find it easier to meditate in an up-right sitting position, with no one around to disrupt you.  

Keep the lighting soft or dimmed. You don't need candles, but for me it sets a mood and gives a sence of focus. For me there is peace and solitude in a single candle. 

Close your eyes and take three, or more, breath-exercises. Breath in with your nose, deep breath down into your belly, hold it for 3 seconds, and release through your mouth.

 Let every sound, noise, notion, feeling and thought come and pass. Do not address any of them, just let them float by. (some might find it helpful to listen to soothing music, but I get to engaged in the music so I can't use that..) 

And then the journey within may start =) 

Good luck and enjoy. 

                                           

Love, 

Lene Whimsical