Reiki

My understanding of Reiki

I'd never heard about Reiki until 6 months ago. I've told you about my first meeting with reiki in my Introducing myself - post. So I won't go there again, in this one.  

Like everything, or most of, what I write about in here, I am new to this. And all I have are my newfound experiences and things I have read about of heard about resently. I might not alway remember it right eighter, so feel free to comment if I get something wrong.

Okey, so what is Reiki. Well, as I've understood it, the Reiki that I am opened to and are learning about is called Usui Reiki. It comes from the far east, and has existed for many many years, but was discovered and made more commonly known by a man called Mikao Usui, hence the name Usui Reiki.  The name Reiki means "Universal Life Energy". Ki meaning the life force that is in all beings, and Rei is the universal, unlimited aspect of this energy.

Reiki is a spiritual practice, an alternative medicine. It is a form of healing treatment. The intermediary uses his or her hands to convey the reiki energy to the recipient, holding his or her hands on or just above selected areas on your body. This is called palm healing or hands on healing. The practitioner is transferring universal energy in the form of qi (through the palms) that allows for self-healing and a state of equilibrium (balance). And anybody can learn it at be opened to it, take courses and practice it. When you receive this treatment you can quite easily feel the heat, the warmth radiating from the practitioners hands. I could, and I can feel it radiating from my own as well. For those who knows me, I am happy to show you ;-)

After two treatments at my reiki master, she offered to open me to Reiki the third session. She has also offered me a course 1 of reiki healing, that I am going to attend when the course is ready. But whilst waiting for that course she opened me up to practicing reiki on myself and my closest family. I had in the days before that opening, become aware of the warmth radiating from my hands, but after the opening,.. Sorry, but OMG. The sensation that I get in my hands when I transfer energy, it is unmistakable. It is like a prickly and stinging sensation, burning and freezing at the same time. Like when you have held something real cold in your hands for a while and then warming them back up, when they start regaining warmth real fast, that icy burning sensation. Have you ever taken a snow bath and directly after jumped back in a pool of warm water? Your body kind of feels like there's a thousand needles and pins poking your skin. It feels like that in the centre of my palms. And of course they get really warm and radiates heat, both palms and fingers. I can feel it radiating without holding them towards myself. Sometimes, when I am doing something completely different than reiki, like driving my car, my hands start to work and I can feel the heat radiating from the back of my hands and fingers. It feels really strange. Talking about reiki can trigger my hands to start working, thinking about it, seeing people who are sick or in pain, animals as well. At the beginning, after the opening, they could set of transferring energy all by them selves without me thinking about or seeing anything that would usually set them of. But now I feel they only react to certain situations and thoughts. And so far I've experienced that I can start them whenever I want to, but I am aware of that the Reiki has a "will" of it's own. It is not something that I can fully controll, it just let's me, for now ;)

But Reiki is more than just healing with hands. There's a whole philosophy that comes with it. A good philosophy. A way of thinking and living that brings peace to both yourself and others. I haven't gone to deep into that aspect yet, but I am trying to practice the five principles, "The secret art of happiness, The miraculous medicine for all diseases";

At least for today:

Do not be angry (or BE HAPPY-since you're not surpose to use the don'ts to make something be..)

Do not worry (or BE CAREFREE..)

Be grateful

Work with diligence

Be kind to people

Every morning and every evening, 

join your hands in meditation

and pray with your heart.

State with your mind

and chant with your mouth.

For improvement of mind and body.

The founder;

Mikao Usui

I use these to the best of my abilities, and they work. If I tell myself, or make a promise to myself, to not be angry/be happy just for today. I am living in the present, not worrying about tomorrow. Tomorrow does not concern me today, I might be grumpy as hell tomorrow, but today I am going to be happy. Setting out to be happy a whole week or a whole month feels impossible, but making that promisse for just one day, this day, here and now, that actually works, for me. I chant it in my head. I have the message, these principles, hung up on notes several places in our house to remind me. And they have helped me a lot. I think it is important not to make promisses to yourself for the future, not to far into the future at least. But if you make promisses to yourself for the present, for just today, it is so much easier to uphold! And in that way you don't set yourself up for dissapoinments eighter. And you can make that promisse to yourself each new day, or new ones, and after some time, if you look back, you might just have been able to keep more promisses to yourself than you ever have managed to implement previously. Think about this, even if you don't believe in reiki or the reasons behind or for these principles, could you perhaps benefit from applying them to your own life? I am not urging you to do so, but perhaps I am asking you if it might be something you'd be willing to try, for a day, or two days,.. or three? And see if they have had any effect on your day? It would not be about any alternative or spiritual face, but just a way to lift your day and your mood. Make you more content and happy with your day and yourself. Let me know if you tried it ;-)

I am surpose to practice Reiki on myself every day, if not for more than 10-15 minutes a day if that is all I can fit in, in a hectic life. But I must confess that there are day that simply just forget, because I'm too tired and go to bed, or I am to caught up in some event that steals my attention for the whole day. But I try, no, I am working on it! I find it to be a good time to practice it when I have crept into bed for the night. I give myself reiki for 10-15 minutes and then I fall asleep, often whilst doing reiki. (Sometimes I've fallen asleep after 5 minutes..) But the rest I get that night is often more deep and uninterupted by dreams and small sound than nights when I don't fall asleep with reiki. So there are more than one benifit from doing reiki at night; it's quiet, I am relaxed and in no hurry, and it is soothing and helps me fall asleep. Sometimes I wake up at nights when I've forgotten reiki, I can't get back to sleep, perhaps I've had a nightmare that has made me restless. Then I remember reiki and use the time awake, in the middle of the night, to transfer energy to myself, and after 15-20 minutes I am sound a sleep again. Before reiki I could lay awake for hours at night, especially after a nightmare.

I haven't been using reiki much on my children though. The two little ones don't have the patience for it and if I try transerring reiki to them whilst they are watching tv or is asleep, they get uncomfortable from the warmth from my hands. =/ But the oldest one seems to have more interest in it. I've been allowed to transfer energy to him several times. If he is tired in mid day, or he is worked up at night time, if he has had a headache or tummyache. It seems to sooth him and the energy, which always distributes it self to where it is most needed in the body, wether it is where the pain or fatigue the person feels is, or it is somewhere else in the body that we are not aware of yet. The energy "knows" where it is most needed, and how much there is needed. Anyhow, my oldest once came to me real worked up and restless, so I told him to lay on the couch. I placed my hands lightly on his chest and forhead (there are certain points on the body a practitionser is surpose to use, but I go by my feelings for now). Laying there, constantly moving fingers and feet, real wired up, after a few minutes he became calm, and eventually he fell asleep at the palm of my hands. I must admit that the experience was really sweet to me, and I felt delighted and pleased that I had helped him calm down and fall asleep so peacefully. =) I can not know for sure if my hands transfers universal energy and helps me or anybody else, but I have faith in that it does. 

When I do reiki, I usually hold one hand on the centre of my chest and one on the centre of my upper abdomen, on top of my diaphram. And after some minutes I move my hands to my throat, and next on top of my head. If I haven't fallen asleep yet, I'll move on to other points, but I always feel like starting on my chest and abdomen. I've done this, held my hands there when resting in my bed, since looong before reiki. But when I have put my hands on children I've always felt like putting one hand on their chest and one on their forhead, or on top of their head. I don't know why, and may not be right at all, but I'm trying to trust my feelings, my gut, so I'll keep doing that, at least until the reiki course. Maybe I'll learn something different when I get there. =)

I've put my warm hands on other members of the family and they have all verified that they feel the radiation of heat and that it feels good. And I do trust them to be honest with me, and they are.

I am not allowed to put my warm hands on people on medication. It may eighter boost the effect of the medicines, or it may tell the body to get rid of the "poison" that does not belong in the body, hence uplift the effects of it. But there are no side-effects on getting reiki if one are free from drugs, in any form. So it can not do any harm. One don't have to believe or be open to it, for it to work. If it works it works unconditionally, if it is meant to! 

Sincerely and from Love,

Lene Whimsical

Learning to meditate and visualize

Meditation and visualisation

I've only just started to practise meditation. These are my experiences with, and thoughts on, meditation.

My days are hectic and loud. So when the kids are in bed, all three of them ;), I find myself having the need to calm down, find inner peace and calm. Centre myself and clear my head.

I've thougt that meditation means you need to quiet your mind completely by blocking out all surrounding sounds and notions. Like that's gonna happen for me. I can't block out anything, neighter thoughts nor sounds or impressions. So how was I ever going to master meditation?

Then I came across a site on meditation, a guide, that stated that you shouldn't block anything out to concentrate and meditate. You are to let everything in! All sounds and notions and thoughts. Let them come and go as they want, let them float through. Now that I could try. And so I did. 

I sat down on my couch, lights dimmed, and just for a notion of calm and peace, I had lighted a single candle on the table in front of me. I found a comfortable position and closed my eyes. I had read of a breathing exercise that I wanted to try. Breathing in with my nose down to my belly, a deep breath,.. and holding it for 3 seconds, before releasing it through my mouth. I were surpose to do this 3 or more times until I felt the muscles in my body relaxing, All of me relaxing. I needed 3 deep breaths to feel that. And then, I took everything in. I let everything pass through my senses. Little buzzing-sounds from electric gadgets around the room, a car passing by on the outside, a houndred thoughts shooting through my head. Not stopping at or dwelling on any single thought or noise. After a couple of minutes I noticed that my head had quieted down. Thoughts slowed down and came to a stop. And they never do that! Just that was wonderful. The sounds didn't affect me anymore, I stopped noticing them completely, they did not bother me or interrupt me anymore. (Me, I get very easily interrupted by sensations and sounds...) It all became quiet and calm. 

And then came the visions. Images slowly appearing before my inner eye. One at a time, standing still before my closed eyes for several seconds, sometimes minutes. Then fading. But one image caught my attention, and I can still see it before my inner eye. A vision of a woman, with her back to me, and I saw her from the waist up. Pale naked skin, dark brown and long hair. Head turned to her left. Face halfway conceiled by her hair. Beautiful girl. And snowflakes. Falling slowly from above, far apart from eachother, and fairly big (normally big snowflakes). One snowflake landed on the girls bare shoulder. But it didn't melt. It just rested there. Non of the snowflakes that landed on her fair skin or dark hair melted. And it was such a lovely image. It rendered a sence of peace. I carry it with me every day. And I can revisit it when ever I want to. Still I see the vivid colours and details as clear as day. I love that image <3

When I come out of meditation, and I say come out, because it feels like I just return from some place deep inside myself. Not waking up, but coming back up or out or down or where

ever it is from. And I do not decide to come out, I don't make that decision as I meditate. I'm sure you are surpose to or that it works differently for those you are skilled in the "art" of meditation, but I'm brand new at it so maybe it'll come to me, or maybe I'm just doing it wrong ;) Anyhow,.. when I come back out from meditation I feel 100% calm and refreshed in my head. At peace with myself, with my day and my life. I regain the understanding of what is important and not. I've let go of the worries and stress that I don't need. And if I've been too worked up and frazzled to go to sleep before meditating, I now feel tranquil and ready to get some physical rest. 

                                         

Sometimes when I've had trouble sleeping, I usually get frustrated and stressed because I figure I won't get enough rest, and I think about what a waste of my time it is, just laying there. But now, I've had not had that problem for a long time. If I am too worked up to fall to sleep, I'll seize the opportunity to priorities meditation. But I must go straight to bed after meditation, not "I just have to do the dishes before I crawl into bed". That'll get me worked up again, obviosly. ;-) (or if I'm allready in my bed I might try to meditate, but I usually do my reiki then. And that makes me fall asleep after a little while, perhaps too fast ;-)

 

Once I had a "companion" or "visitor" with me all day and night, and I decided to meditate to calm him, and me, down. What happened then was that he showed me some images and visions of himself, amongst other things, he showed me where I was living, trolling the streets I live on, up and down, up and down... While I saw this, clearly as I see my dreams (and I have seriously vivid dreams!), as clearly as you see images on tv,.. or your computer ;) ... I told my husband what I was seeing, my eyes closed and focused on the images given to me. I cannot do that when I sleep. I was fully aware of both the visions, my own voice and my husband being next to me. That was so strange! If it hadn't been for that, and the way I came back and felt afterwards, I might have disregarded it as dreaming,.. falling asleep and dreaming.. But the way I came back; Slowly and firm. And feeling calm and awake. I don't ever feel like that when I wake up. I don't like waking-ups. I wake up suddenly and still feeling sleepy and tired, heart pumping faster. Waking up is not pleasant for me :-P Never enjoyed that part of sleeping, I can tell you. So I know I weren't sleeping or dreaming, because of those two elements. And then there's my husband who saw and heard it all and he says I weren't sleeping as well. Another possible explanation could have been daydreaming, except that I have never been able to daydream with my eyes closed. If  I try with my eyes closed I can't keep my focus on one single image or thought, because my head is thinking and picturing houndreds of things at the same time. I need something to rest and focus my eyes on. So no, I weren't daydreaming eighter, I can assure you. Not that it matters ;-) My mind is a master to search for, explore and come up with alternate possibilities... I'm working on tuning it out and turning it of... But it's a natural respons. I bet several of you do the same ;-)

        

I believe that meditation is a way to connect with you own soul and spirit, and with the universe, your guardians, helpers and other souls and spirits. If you are in search of answers or connections, you might find it here, inside. I believe that every single person and being has an on-going conversation with the universe from within themselves. Not many are aware of it or understands what it is. Conversations in your head, pictures popping up out of nowhere, notions that doesn't feel like your own, a gut-feeling,.. your intuition trying to guide you to do the right thing or refrain from doing the wrong.  

I find it easier to meditate in an up-right sitting position, with no one around to disrupt you.  

Keep the lighting soft or dimmed. You don't need candles, but for me it sets a mood and gives a sence of focus. For me there is peace and solitude in a single candle. 

Close your eyes and take three, or more, breath-exercises. Breath in with your nose, deep breath down into your belly, hold it for 3 seconds, and release through your mouth.

 Let every sound, noise, notion, feeling and thought come and pass. Do not address any of them, just let them float by. (some might find it helpful to listen to soothing music, but I get to engaged in the music so I can't use that..) 

And then the journey within may start =) 

Good luck and enjoy. 

                                           

Love, 

Lene Whimsical

Seeing auras

Seeing auras for the first time and how to

This is kinda cool! And anyyone can do it, with some practise =) You just have to trust it, like everything else you feel and do. And you'll  have to concentrate and relax. =)

Of course I'd heard of auras before, since way back. Haven't really been that interested though. It is a documented phenomenon, you can actually take pictures of the aura. That's a fact. But I never thought I'd see them myself. I was actually a little surprised when I did. And fun ;) 

I had been opened up to reiki (different story) and my reiki master told me about auras and how to see them. So I started looking for them. At first I couldn't see them. I tried to see it on my own fingers and hands, but couldn't really say I saw anything. But that same evening, still boosted on the reiki opening earlier that day, I tried seeing my kids auras, since kids have big and bright auras, and might be easier to detect. I was surprised by how easily I saw them, whilst being consentrated and calm of course. =) 

First I saw the air above their heads (and other outlines of the body) vibrate, like when you look at the asfalt on a hot summers day, and the heat oozes up in to the air. It vibrates. When I could see that, I started to see the contour of energy and the aura. And faint translucent colours between the actual person and the contour of the aura. I could see 10-15 cm auras, brighter and a bit stronger colours, on the kids. And other people, adults, had 2-4 cm auras with more blue- and gray-ish colourings. That was kind of cool ;) 

I can see the aura 2-15+ cm over peoples heads or other parts of the body. And now I can see my own around my fingers and hands. For some this is the easiest thing to start with, looking at one particular finger. Not looking directly at it/on it, but above it. It may be more easy to do if you have a plane white or just some one-coloured background behind you hand. Have a calm and relaxed gaze. Try to see how the air above your finger moves with energy, small movements like heated air. And try to see where it stops, and then you will see the outline of the energy, the outline of the aura. If you practice on this, eventually, sooner or later you will be able to detect and see the colour of your aura. How cool is that, huh?! ;) Me myself haven't been doing this for so long yet, and I'm not very experienced with it, but I can see the aura as described above. But those who practice on doing it and become accustomedto it, will be able to see auras more clearly and with more vivid colouring. I hope to see peoples colours and lights when the time is right for it. Patience... Not always my strongest trait.. ;-)

I haven't really had the time to read up on auras, or much of anything really. So all this I write here are my own thoughts and what I've heard of auras the past months(I'm going on a trip this weekend, and hope to read a few books I've been dying to digg into. Perhaps I'll have some new angles and thoughts I need to share with you over the weekend ;). 

The aura, as I see it, is the energy radiating from the body, reflecting our feelings and our moods. It has been proven to change colour, documented on photograps, when people change their mood or feelings towards something. Quite amazing really! Like a real life mood-ring, just wrapped around your entire body instead of your finger ;) I believe babies and toddlers see them, I know I did when I was very little. I think they have that ability to help them to seperate unfamiliar people from each other, who is happy, confident, excited, calm or unsecure, even mean. And then they can react or respond to the different moods.

It's interesting to me how the aura portaits in religiuos depictions. And then called a halo ;) And I mean the old depictions/images, not the little cirkle above the head. Like this image of the Greek god Apollo with a radiant halo depicted on a Roman mosaic floor from the 100's in El Djem in Tunisia.

And here; Muhammad, Islam's prophet, presented in a Persian manuscript from the Middle Ages as the leader of the former prophets, Jesus, Abraham, Moses and other holy persons (right). Emissions are here shaped like tongues of fire. Radiance that encloses the entire body, not just the head, called aureola.

These images are not one of a kind. There are many. And I believe that it is the description of the aura, not in contradiction with the divine or religious, but to viewing point of the same subject, actually being the same thing. 

So it is not a new thing, or a new phenomenon. I think it is more a question of the human race loosing, and has lost, abileties and an eye for the "supernatural" because it doen't benefit them anymore, like it did many years ago. We have chosen to not have any use of it so we stopped seeing, generations ago. Yet another part of our brain that har become dorment and silent. I am awakening those dorment parts of my brain and it is quite amazing! The skills we humans possess, just not being aware of it or in touch with it. I am happy to get some of it back, after tucking it away since childhood. Now I am ready for it. Are you? ;)

Sincerely and with Love,

Lene Whimsical

Taboos

Can't keep from thinking about the post I shared tonight.

For those who might know me, I understand that you may have difficulties understanding where it came from and that you might even think it must have "snapped" for me or something... ;) hehe... I totally understand! But I am still the same me. I'm not changing, I am only having my eyes opened to the spiritual world. It may not sound real or realistic some of the topics I am addressing here, but remember that I am not asking you to believe the same as me, this is just me sharing. Giving a voice to the taboos that are.

I have notices and thought about the development of how the world is reacting to spiritual and religious topics. On one hand you have religion, and beliefe systems. Not many feel it acceptable to talk loud about it and speak with conviction anymore. People will look at you with prejudice and derogatory if you do. Yet religion has been well accepted and is still the principles that underlie the current social structures. But talking about and speaking with conviction about religious beliefes, is becoming taboo and frowned upon as well.

On the other hand you have the curiousity towards the spiritual, the interest for spirits and ghosts. The interest of and curiosity towards alternativ medicine. And how we can find ourselves open to the possibility that there just might be something genuine in it, when it is shown on tv or in media. Like the media holds the key to truth and facts. But if someone closer to home talkes freely about the same subjects we tend to doubt it and apply the Law of Jante, you shall not think you know or are in any better at something than others or me. And if you haven't had an experience with the alternative we argue against it. Almost like attacking those who dare to give a familier face to the unfamiliar. And we seem to have monopoly on drawing the lines between believable and the unbelievable, especially for others. It is nobodys fault. It is just how society is built up, to keep everybody "in line". You should not step too far out of the box that is "normal", or else you must expect to be "put in place", told of or told to keep your voice down so not to make others uncomfortable. I feel that more people need to break those patterns, break the silence and dare to be different. I've never been a follower in terms of the mass. I never will be. I don't fit in there. I do what is required of, follow the laws and ethics. But I don't think and believe what others tell me to all the the time. I have a strong mind and opinion of my own and I am confident that it will lead me in the right direction for me.

So no need to call the men in white coats ;) I am quite down to earth and sane, just more open and honest, and less reserved and restrained. I rather want to regret something I said, than regret the things I didn't say. And if I found I've been saying something wrong, I will be the first to admit it and any other business appologize. Until then, and even then, I will continue to speak my mind and my truth. And if that gets to much for you or feels totally wrong to you, you are free to disagree and stop reading at any time =)

And for you readers who knows me, I still feel uncomfortable talking about the subject of last post out loud, but if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me on mail or text messaging. It still feels strange for me to say it out loud, to anybodies face. I am still fighting to break the uncomfortable feelings that comes from talking about something taboo,.. I am not new-religious, fanatic or dreamy... ;) But I am enlightened and awakened to more aspects of life and nature than many. And if you ask me I will answer though! ;) And will answer you with a smile ;)

The only thing you really need to know about my writing is that I write what is true to me, my own truth. I write what my inner voice tells me to. Have you been in touch with your inner voice lately?

Truthfully and lovingly

Lene Whimsical

Forgiveness

Forgiving others to be at peace with yourself

For the last couple of days I've been urged to write about forgiveness. And what I can write about that is what happened to me and my forgiving others and how. And my thoughts about forgiveness (if they are my thoughts alone or given to me, I don't know. I am too new at this to really seperate and trust what's my thoughts and what's not my own..) But here goes...

Like so many others I've experienced hurt and betrayal, harassment, and mean and ignorant people. I've been struggeling with the aftermath of that, with depressions and anxiety. I've wanted to, and I have tried to, end my life several times. I've felt worthless. I've felt like a burden. I've felt excluded and alienated. I've felt left out and rejected. I've felt the depths of that black hole that is solitude with emptyness, sadness and despair. I've been there. 5 months ago, last time around. I felt completely lost and beyond salvation. Out of place in this world. Like too many others.

My childhood was great. Sure they didn't fully understand me. I've always been different. As a little girl I was a bit quiet, but outgoing and happy. I liked to sit in solitude by myself and what they called my imagination. I saw things, heard them and felt them. I couln't understand why others didn't see. And they just thougt I had a vivid imagination, and fantasy-/make believe friends ;-) They didn't know, but for the most part they let me be like that. I was completely happy and content with life. I played, a lot! All the way into my adolescense =) I were allowed to explore my surroundings and loved to be outside in the woods and with animals. I loved caring for animals. I talked to them and felt that they understood me, and I felt them. I felt a lot. Both physically and mentally. I heard and felt energies both that others could and couldn't. I grew up in an old house where my family and almost anyone who visited regularly heard things that could not be explained in a rational matter. I felt it constantly in our house. I was a sensitive child. A classic HSC... (see resent posts to find out about HSC and HSP). Sensitive, kreative and aware of subtleties.

When I was about 12-13, it turned for me. I got close to some people who weren't good for me. People who pursued into a bad environment. People who I had come to love, friends and eventually boyfriends (trivial now, but all consuming then, friends and boyfriends). One strong "leader" who set the norm, with the rest listening and following. I stopped listening and following when things were going too far, when it crossed the line of right ad wrong. Being who I was made me vulnerable and perhaps the natural selection when it came to being used and abused. Being outcasted, bullied and threatened on my life when I stood up for myself, others and my opinions. Back then I would have made it easier for myself if I hadn't been so headstrong, but given in to their ways. If I hadn't been reasonable and enlighted as I were. But I thank god every day that I was strong enough to stand against pressure and verbal abuse, and defending my own. It almost killed me back then. I am proud of myself for not giving in, that I've never tried drugs or ganged up on people I were surpose to be friends with. I am so proud of making it on my own after the threats and harassment. Just surviving. 

I was no saint in high school. I've tried being a follower, I've said hurtful things and I've hurt people too, and for that I apologize and regret. I've done my share of stupid things, like most youngsters have. But I was good at heart and I did my best to care for and protect those I loved. I was partying, but I wouldn't smoke or do drugs. I drove my moped and goofed around with my friends on it, but I never put anybody at any real risk and I never did "drinking and driving" nor did I ride with anyone who did. I had a sharp toung and a loud voice at times, but I never bullied or threatened anyone. I was a responsible adolescense who wanted to fit in, but not at the expense of my believes and principles. I knew the difference between right and wrong, especially for myself. That gave me a lot of trouble and grieve, but it was the one thing that saved me from ruin and demise, from following their lead. 

The kids who made life difficult, and eventually insufferable for me, were just that,..kids. Immature and ignorant girls (mostly) and boys. Yes, the girls could be really mean, and gather gangs to oppose and threaten me, just for fun. Bullying me, htreatening me, telling me I was worthless and had no right to live. But I know now that they just didn't know better, or I hope they didn't, for their sake. Cause that could not be easy to live with, unless you're still that person. Now I feel bad for them, not towards them. The one boy who really hurt me and broke my trust back then, he was just clueless and immature. There was no cruelty from him like with the girls, or one girl in perticular. I broke with them completely when I was 18. I ended up in the hospital with an overdose of medicine, muscle-relaxant. They kept me breathing and from that moment my family watched over me, until I got pregnant with my first at the age of 19. At 20 I became a mother and every aspect of my life changed. My priorities and values in life revolved around this precious babyboy. He gave me a reason to live. HE saved me back then.  Nobody has ever questioned that. It's an obvious fact.

For many years, though, this past wounds and offends haunted me from time to time. I blamed them for making my life hell, and degrading my self-worth and self image. I blamed them for taking something from me. Stealing something from me. I had a physical reaction to seing them when I went out in public. My body rembered that last experiences with them and refused to be around them. I became physically ill and upset. For years. I resented some of them. Others I couldn't let go. "Once you've loved someone..." This applies to my "on and off" best friend. I still have some contact with her, but we rarely see each other anymore. I can never fully trust her again, though I love her deeply like noone else.

Then, I started to try to forgive them. This is maybe 2 or 3 years ago. I wanted to forgive them because I wanted to be, and feel, free of them. I wanted to be able to run into them and not get sick. I wanted to be able to meet them and greet them in social settings like school, leasure and kindergarden, where I was bound to run into them regularly. I wanted to feel done with it. It had been 10-13 years of pain and pshycological fault. I did not accept or approve of how they treated me or what was done to me, and I never will. But that's okay, because I can still forgive them despite of that.

I don't think many, or any, of them are aware of, or have the understanding of, what they did to me back then: Nor the impact, influence and consequences it has had on me and my life ever since. And I no longer have the desire to tell them or have them realizing it some how. After my encounter with my angel I can let it, and them, go! It is such a redemption and reliefe to finally letting go. And in some ways be thankfull for them. Because what they surtainly don't know is that they gave me something valuable and nessasary to get me to where I am today. They gave me a life experience that I needed, to grow stronger. And they did that for free. So thank you for that. =) The experience did not make me, define me, nor break me, but forced me to shelter my vulnerability so I would not lose it. It forced me to grow stronger and look else where for love and understanding, for a place where I could be myself and be appreciated for it. And I have.

So how do you start forgiving people and events? For me it was the "why" who that started the ball rolling. Me wanting to be free of it. Not doing it for them, but for me. Not condoning or pardoning it, but letting go and moving forward. And when I got used to that notion, I got open to the "how". Searchin for it. And my angel gave it to me. She told me why I had to go through that. That on some higher level I had willingly chosen to experience that, in advance, knowing I could take it and make it through. She told me to see them as immature stupid kids being immature and stupid kids ;) And she told me to turn it around and see the value in it. Be thankfull for the lifes-experience they had given me without even knowing it. Smile about it and voice out to myself; "If they only knew" ;) And you know what, it is working. I am letting go. I don't want to resume contact with them, I'll stay clear of them, but I won't activly avvoid them anymore. Instead of letting my body tell me they make me sick, I tell my body " If they only knew ;)". It calmes me down and replaces those bad feelings with gratification, a good feeling. Eventually, in time, it won't produce any feelings towards them at all, negative or positive. They'll be neutral. And that is my goal for forgivness, then I will be done with it completely. <3 

The smaller stuff are easier to forgive. Like forgiving people who has been acting somewhat poorly towards people I love. For those who might be hurtful towards my children, I don't know if I would manage to forgive them at all. But I guess that depends on what impact it has on my children, if something in them breaks or not. 

I am an extremely loyal person to people I love. I protect them and speak up for them with a strong voice. Maybe a little to much at times. If somebody hurts someone I love, I have, in the past, spoke my mind to and rejected them. And resented them, even hated some for years. I am especially protective towards my dad and my best friend (and of course my children). People who hurts them will for ever be labeled as no good in my book. Even if the person they hurt move on and lets it go. But now I am turning that around. I am forgiving and letting go. Again, I don't approve of what they have done, but I try to see it for what it is, see them for what they are. It may be acts of jealousy, of envy, ignorance or stupidity. I don't feel sorry for them, but I see the lack of love, acceptance and understanding in them. And I feel for them, for them having the  shortcommings that make them act and speak this way. So now I can greet them and smile at them and send love towards them when I meet them. And all those little acts of forgiveness and understanding, in me, gives me peace and reliefe. I've realized my own ignornance, pettiness and prejudice by judging and resenting these people. And now that I know, I let it go and fills that space with love and empathy. I wish them love, peace and light in their lives so that they can thrive, instead of holding them selves down with the weight of these negative emotions and action much like I did. Letting go of all negative emotions and the outward-facing focus and replacing them with an inward-facing focus and love for themselves. This applies to everyone! To forgive you have to let go of the negative emotions by replacing them with understanding and tolerance, love and empathy. <3

That is my forgiving others. And I hope to get the chance to ask for forgiveness from someone soon as well, apologizing for acting hurtful for no good enough reason. I am working my way towards that, and perhaps I'll get the opportunity to tell him soon. I am certain I will, I'll make  the opportunity. =)

Good luck on forgiving and letting go, finding peace and love! If I can, you can too! =)

PS. Feel free to comment or ask questions here or by mailing me on this address:

lene_velsand@yahoo.no

Love and Light

Lene Whimsical

My awakening

I sit here writing and watching my beautiful toddlers play in the sun. Really enjoying themselves, consumed with playing and exploring! That's how life is surpose to be! <3 

Sitting in the sun, in shorts and bare feet... Today my bare feet touched the ground and the green grass for the first time this year, after a long and cold winter and spring. Nothing less than beautiful!!! And much needen... I really need to ground my self these days. Feeling "high" on awakening and enlightment. Naked feet and toes digging into the soft gras, getting my feet back down on the ground, in more ways than one ;-)

Last few weeks I've been feeling strange and kind of "out of it". I'll try to explain it as best as I can. It's been almost like having a constant buzz, like a drunk-buzz. Dizzy and slow and giggly. Calm and excited at the same time. My eyes won't follow my movements, but kind of has a delay and a blur. But I see more details and textures and energies. My whole body is tingeling, feeling every inch of my body, every cell and fiber and nerve. My concentration is shifting. I forget, a lot (and I usually have an amazing recollection), but I remember some things down to the very last detail. My hearing is condfusing me. I usually have a keen hearing and sense of location of sounds, but these last few weeks I can't tell where sounds come from and sometimes I've got difficulties recognising the sounds. And that is because of this white noise surrounding my head. It's like a wall or wail around my head, between me and other sounds. And this white noise feels like it's compressing against my head. And it's loud, but quiet at the same time. And sometimes there are new sounds that I've never heard before. Hence I can't really explain them eigther. Everything feels of, but more right. And everything is in contrast. Feelings, senses, notions.

I have an extensive vocabulary, but when it comes to this subject, the spiritual and the alternativ, I feel I'm in lack of the right words to describe and explain to others. It's on a plane of feelings and sensations that surpass the mainstream vocabulary, and mine ;-)

I have been wondering what this state and these sensations might be or even mean. And I have received answers, and I have accepted and acknowledged them, embraced them and given thanks for them. I am actually, finally, thankfully, amazingly, awakening! I have been praying for it. I have been calling the universe for it. Wanted it with all my heart, yet doubting it would come. And here it is, right now! And it fills me with such love and gratitude and humility and awe. So much it overflows from time to time. Bringing tears to my eyes when feeling love and compassion and care towards people, creatures and places I never have before. Giving me energy and urge to do good, listen and care. It takes me out of my comfort zone and I can feel it breaking down the walls and shields I've created around my selfe and my vulnerability. After what happended to me and with me, in my adolescence, I burried it deep within to save it and protect it. I never lost it, but it have felt lost to me. The part of me that is open and embraces everyone, showing affection to others, other than my closest family. I'm not there yet, trusting these traits to be allowed on the outside, like giving hugs and loving words when I want to and feel like it. I feel some aversion to exposing myself completely like that again. But I am working on letting go of that fear of hurt and abuse. I am letting go of fear! Letting my light shine for me and everbody else to see and feel.

I've always known that I have a kind heart and a good soul, but for years I've been doubting that others knows and sees those traits in me. I started doubting myself and my self-worth many years ago after being hurt real bad by people I loved and trusted. I thought they had broken me. I thougt they had stolen something from me. I thougt I had lost something. Something was taken from me. But I did'nt and they didn't, and it wasn't! I did what I had to do, back then, to protect myself and I hid it away in my subconscious, guarding and sheltering it deep withing me. And it's a light so bright and pure and full of goodness, stored in a dark and candid place. I am glad I have been hiding it and protecting it for so long, so that it wouldn't break, I wouldn't lose it. And now I am finally strong enough to bring it back up, back out on the outside. I am strong enough to protect and speak up for myself. I am free from letting others opinions and harassments hurt me anymore. I know who I am and what I am. And if others can't deal with that, that's on them now, their loss.. ;-)

So you see, finally, after being touched by an angel, I am stronger than ever! And it's time for me to bring me back into the world, where there are people who needs me and that I can reach out to an touch and bring back as well. I am here to love and to do good. To do right by nature and all it's creatures. I've been told so and I know so! I feel it every day in every inch of me,.. I am awakening! And it's exciting ;-)

I am only one out of so many who are awakening these days. Who feels the changes in the world and them selves. It's an evolution, a cognitive awakening. We are the solution to a world in pain and in need of guidence, love, compassion, forgiveness and peace. It is something that comes from within. Within every single one of us, enlightened or not. 

From Love and Light,
Lene Whimsical

"The Secret"

"The Secret"

What if I told you there is a secret amongst men, a secret to life and taking control over your own?! A secret that has been in this world for centuries. That this secret can give you everything you want in life and out of life. A secret that was hidden from the public to benefit the few. What if I told you that this secret now is accessable to you?! Would you want to hear it? Even if it might sound like it's a bit far out there... Cause it does, doesn't it,.. sound a bit far out there... I thought so too... At times I still do ;) But I know the secret works! No matter how unexplainable and unbelievable it is. And it is easy to access. It has been searched out,  collected and written down so that everyone can learn about it and benefit from it.

I was told that there was one book I needed to read. So I did. And my husband did. And I want everyone to read it. It is called The Secret and is written by Rhonda Byrne. Maybe it would change you entire approach to life, maybe it would give you a little nodge in the right direction or maybe it's just not for you, but you won't know before you've read it. And if you choose to read it I urge you to finish it, get to the last chapter an see it all fall into place.

This book was in 2006 a best-selling self-help book in America and it would surprise me if not some of you have heard about it and even read it. The book is based on a film made the same year, same title, same maker. 

The Secret is based on the law of attraction. What energy you give out you get back. Your thoughts materialized in your future. It sounds silly at first, but when you start reading the book and really reflect on it, think about it, you see that it is strangely, strikingly recognizable and transferable to your own life.

In treatments for my depressions and anxiety I was frequently told that I could not possibly even imagine, think, that my negative and pessimistic thoughts were in any way contributing to attract more bad things. That would mean I saw myself as a divine being, a god, because only a god had those powers... I never acknowledged those statements. Those statements were in conflict with my own believes. I don't think that the law of attraction makes men divine or god-like , NOT AT ALL! But there is something out there that some call karma, right? Isn't that some indication on the existens of this law?! Not that everybody believes in karma, allthough many would like to believe in it ;) Just an example...

The trusth is that everything in the universe is energy. You are energy. In between every cell in your body there is energy. You need to consume energy,.. from food, beverage, breath, the sun... You restore energy every time you sleep. You use and produce energy in all you do. Every living being is dependent on, are made from, are made of, consumes and produces energy. Yes? That is a fact. Our thoughts are energy, producing energy and sending out energy,.. just like radiosignal.. When you monitor a brain you can see the energy waves. You are broadcasting you self constantly. Most people do this on a totally subconscious level. The Secret helps you to do it on a conscious level, using your emotions to guide you and focus your energywaves or transmissions if you like ;) It is a simple consept really, and this book shows you how to use it and tools to help you focus.

Many will get think "but if everbody use this, there won't be enough for everyone, there will be conflicts in interessert, how does this really happen, where would the things you ask for come from, there are too many complications and obstacles." No,  there will be enough for everyone because it all comes from an abundance. There are no limits. Limits and restrictions are man made. This is the universe. The universe is governed by the laws of attraction. The universe knows no limits, no endings, just abundance, endlessness, everlastingness. Is there a limit to the univers, known to man? Is it possible to count all the galaxies and stars in the entire universe? The universe with all that is, is infinite, limitless. I know that these facts are incomprehensable, unintelligible to mankind. Some things, like the universe is too big and complex for humanity to ever fully comprehend. That is a fact. So why are so many of us reluctant to accept the things we are not ment to understand? Because it is imprinted on us from early age and upwards by society. You have heard of the expression that hate and disbelieve comes from fear of the unknown and the fail to understand?..

"A number of exceptional men and women discovered The Secret, and went on to become known as the greatest people who ever lived. Among them: Plato, Leonardo, Galileo, Napoleon, Hugo, Beethoven, Lincoln, Edison, Einstein and Carnegie." #1

I don't urge you to read any books,  but I can recommend some books to you. And then you can make your own decisions. =)

Here are a link to the official web page (#1)

http://www.thesecret.tv/thesecretbook/

Enjoy!

Love Lene Whimsical